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Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
Book Published 1897; Excerpt from: Project Gutenberg _______________________________________ “What a still, hot, perfect day! What a golden desert this spreading moor! Everywhere sunshine. I wished I could live in it and on it. I saw a lizard run over the crag; I saw a bee busy among the sweet bilberries. I would fain at the moment have become bee or lizard, that I might have found fitting nutriment, permanent shelter here. But I was a human being, and had a human being’s wants: I must not linger where there was nothing to supply them. I rose; I looked back at the bed I had left. Hopeless of the future, I wished but this—that my Maker had that night thought good to require my soul of me while I slept; and that this weary frame, absolved by death from further conflict with fate, had now but to decay quietly, and mingle in peace with the soil of this wilderness. Life, however, was yet in my possession, with all its requirements, and pains, and responsibilities. The burden must be carried; the want provided for; the suffering endured; the responsibility fulfilled. I set out.”
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Jane Eyre laying in stony dirt bank Picture from Project Gutenberg _______________________________________ In this excerpt of Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte, Jane has just escaped Thornfield Mansion after experiencing the trauma of realizing Mr. Rochester has a wife, Grace Poole. She sets off in an aimless wander with no direction in particular. Unprepared for survival in the wilderness by means of shelter and money, she is forced to sleep among the barrenness of nature in its purest form, under a makeshift cave of rocks and the cold, starry sky on top of the muddy earth. Ironically, though the situation is unfavorable compared to the amenities of society, Jane Eyre’s eyes are opened to the primality of being in the open air. For the first time of her life she is enjoying an obligation free lifestyle where there are no superiors to report to or others depending on her such as her being Adele’s governess and her being a teacher at Lowood. She is an independent spirit: self-reliant on her direction of journey. At this period of her life, Jane is about 20 years old and she is at the cusp of her adult life. She has evolved from student to teacher, though still without permanent footing in her life. This time is her one adventurous period before she finds her life thrown into a solitude chamber at St. John’s charity house or a dark room near Thornfield at consequently constant requests from Mr. Rochester and St. John for her eternal servitude to them in one form or another. It is evident to see that in the quote Jane is free to explore the delights of nature through vivid color and sound because of her close examinations of lizards, berries and “a busy bee,” etc. She wishes that she could live in the desert landscape as opposed to “bending to toil like the rest” as she later says. This freedom of exploration of nature and responsibility correlates with the young adult period of life, and only period of her life where she is her own boss. No other entity is liable for her actions other than herself. Especially in her case, where she did not really have a childhood, rather an oppressive upbringing, one can see that Jane in this passage is living out her missed opportunity to be a child and explore the world before she once again, must work and enter society as a mature adult and respectable woman.
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Song
Serotonin- Dreaming of Another World Music video clip at 2:57 source: youtube.com ——————————————————————- It’s a trick of the eye
Movie “Screaming into the Infinite Abyss” clip from Garden State (2004) Directed by Zach Braff Starring: Zach Braff, Natalie Portman ______________________________________ This movie had a multitude of scenes where youthful free spirits expressed their need to break free from the set roles of society and create their own countercultural self-ruled world. The main characters “Large” (Zach Braff) and Sam (Natalie Portman) are both on the run from forces they see as restraints to keep them static such as their parents and their doctors. The narrative is about Large’s return home for his mother’s funeral after he has been in Los Angeles pursuing an acting career for years, not having returned home since. He bumps into old friends and meets Sam, a quirky girl who teaches Sam to let go of the demons of his past and “be original.” The end up falling in love and finding themselves in each other as their friends and family hold on for the ride. In this particular scene they scream down a mysterious dark crack in the earth that they had stumbled on because Large’s friend was searching in the adjacent junkyard to retrieve a gift for him. Large decides on a whim to climb onto a bulldozer and scream down the gaping canyon. Screaming down the “infinite abyss” represents them breaking free from their pasts and the ropes that bind them. It is an ultimate act of defiance and self-proclamation as they take initiative in their own actions- the screaming being a completely impulsive act. Sam had lived for her whole life with her mother and had been under constant supervision for her epilepsy while Large had been under lithium medication for anti-depression that put him in an “endless comatose state” prescribed to him by his father who was also his psychiatrist. When they get together, they embark on a journey exploring New Jersey through backdoors and uncharted territory such as the junkyard/abyss breaking laws and doing whatever their hearts desired. The main character, Large, discovers by the end, that he wasn’t living life in a way that made him happy. He had moved to Los Angeles to get away from home (New Jersey) but by going back to home he was able to face his fears: the touchy subject of his mother’s death with his closed-off dad, and finding love with Sam, the girl who encouraged him to “do something completely original that he’s never done before.” By renouncing his previously lethargic lifestyle that resembled sleepwalking through life, and giving up his prescription for an unguarded, open approach to life, Large succeeds in being able to feel. Zach Braff as a director captures the hopes and dreams of those who are in need of an escape, those who want to take back the jurisdiction in their lives as they mature not quite into adulthood yet but after they leave teenagehood. Screaming into the infinite abyss is empowering to these little human beings who feel futile compared to the superiors they are surrounded by, the parents and doctors who are constantly dictating what to do, and society telling them what they should do. It is in this moment, in the cold rain in a neglected junkyard and hole that they conquer the infinite abyss that is life. 
Picture “The largest demographic in the extreme sports is that of ages 12 through age 35.” Source: faqs.org ________________________________ This picture correlates with the idea of how young people feel invincible. They can laugh in the face of death for the selfish pursuit of short-lived fun. One brush of danger fueled by pure adrenaline rush becomes just one more story to tell; one opportunity to traverse the thin line between reality and fantasy is worth obtaining the rare feeling of nature’s finest organic ecstasy.
“When adults say, “Teenagers think they are invincible” with that sly, stupid smile on their faces, they don’t know how right they are. We need never be hopeless, because we can never be irreparably broken. We think that we are invincible because we are. We cannot be born, and we cannot die. Like all energy, we can only change shapes and sizes and manifestations. They forget that when they get old. They get scared of losing and failing. But that part of us greater than the sum of our parts cannot begin and cannot end, and so it cannot fail.”
- John Green, Looking for Alaska Quote 
Graph Many College Students Prefer Fun Over Debt Worries source: website _____________________________________________ More than a quarter of college students think it is reasonable to run up a debt that might take months or years to pay off to “enjoy the moment.”
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
Song
Empire of The Sun - Walking on A Dream music video clip @ 2:52 source: youtube.com _______________________________________ Lyrics:
How can I explain We are always running for the thrill of it thrill of it Is it real now Thought I’d never see Catch me I’m falling down Don’t stop just keep going on 
Picture May 13, 2011 Sun God Music Festival. San Diego, Ca Photographer Credit: Vu Tran
Sun God Music Festival 2011
Personal Writing I wrote the following piece after I had the time of my life at Sun God, a music festival hosted at UC San Diego annually. I was under the influence of Ecstasy and felt exported to an alternative space and time. I wanted the night to last forever. This piece illustrates the vivid amplification of my senses that I felt that day, as I felt like I was closer to my friends and other sensual triggers such as music and light. I felt blissful alongside the other college students present as we all lived out our weekend fantasy: either drunk, on Ecstasy, or high… we were all running away together. My weekend exploration was only possible because I had completed all of my homework beforehand, therefore freeing my mind of worry and stress. Only then was I able to live in the moment and take in each bead of happiness as it trickled into my open mouth. After that, it was back to reality. My dread of reality, of monotony, of a caged life, is also combined with my fear of graduating college. As immature as it sounds, my view of graduation is an imminent death that I would favor escaping rather than accepting. This piece about Sun God 2011 is a glimpse into my dream to be young forever. ________________________________ Nancy Ly 17 May 2011 Sun God Cross-legged at 5:22pm in my humble apartment in Isla Vista, California- the utopian madhouse of Californian college students, I stare out at the fully illuminated window directly in front of my figure. A multitude of palm trees of different heights depending on their proximity to my window glisten from the light of the proud sun and pastel blue sky. The sun reflects on the trees’ outer leaves as if a graceful hand of nature had dipped them in crystals. Fantastic. I am on the second story of this apartment complex and the trees are still higher than me. They tower like a giant troupe of cheerleaders’ arms raising their pom-poms from the ground. Straight and strong. On the closer ones, I can see their leaves being rustled by the breeze; the further ones appear still even though I know they are not. I have just changed into a flowy tank top because the black men’s T-shirt I was wearing before made me uncomfortably hot. Now my shirt can sway like those leaves as well. I can be as cool and unrestrained as the feathery leaves of the palm trees. My shirt swings as I walk from the bedroom to the living room to get my wine glass that is halfway filled with water standing on the coffee table. I like putting my water in a wine glass because I got bored of regular cups. The water feels cooler, crisper, coming from this delicate, beautiful wine glass even though it’s not. I walk back into my bedroom and set the wine glass down on my short, bright blue table from IKEA alongside my curling iron, broken makeup compact, colorful necklaces and eyelash curler. This is my vanity table and my study table come finals. At that time, I bulldoze the cosmetics on the table to one side to make space for my laptop. Speaking of my laptop, I bounce back onto my bed and resume the cross-legged position facing the window in front of my laptop to poke around on the windows and icons of my desktop. Itunes, Google chrome, Microsoft word… I think I will put on an upbeat dance song to get me ready for the weekend. Shoot, time to pack my bags. 24 hours later I am in San Diego. I’m wearing a flowy green low-cut sundress and dancing in an audience in front of a stage with pulsating beats and hard-hitting bass. The electronic music distracts me from all traces of the real world. The digital light shows on the colossal building-sized screens behind the DJ have my eyes transfixed in partner with the thrilling brightly colored laser beams that branch out and tickle the fingers of all the sky-reachers in the crowd thousands and thousands of people strong. These densely packed bodies have about three inches of breathing space in each direction before another sweaty person exists, dancing away to the music’s hypnotic control. There is a decreasing measurement of personal space as you get closer to the stage where bodies are practically rubbing against each other, skin to skin. I choose to stand somewhere in the right-middle of the field between the regions of those with two and those with three inches of space, accompanied by my six friends. None of us actually attend UCSD, this school that is hosting this music festival, but luckily half of us were able to sneak in and the others had secured guest tickets. I was one of the fortunate people who snuck in and the fact that I was here, penny-free, made the experience that much sweeter. “Oh my goooooooood I LOVE this song!” I mouth to my friend on the left of me. “Me too!” She mouths back, with a huge grin on her face and hands clasped to her chest. My body moves nowhere near as gentle as my flowy shirt of yesterday or the rustle of the trees- it goes faster, quicker, to the music, and under the DJ’s control of his wizardly musical manipulations and I am at his will. Deep head bobs are in order by the crowd when his heavy beats drop, and quick twists and hops when the treble and rhythm accelerates. It is the complete opposite of gentle. My dress lashes side to side as well as my hair. The bass grabs hold of my heart and rattles my bones. Everyone else in the crowd harmonizes with my motions as well as I to them. I tuck my hair out of my face and don’t care whose feet I’m stepping on as I become a living embodiment of the music flooding into my ears. I only resemble the leaves of yesterday when the music slows to a dreamlike fluidity and I sway like a slow-moving flag. Then, when I am really immersed into the song and feel overcome with synesthesia, my eyes close and I float amongst the energy of the crowd, hands outstretched towards the source of music and light. A minute later, a new song, a new excitement. The tempo changes to more rapid and I am fearless again. The shape of my body goes from one S to the next tracing left to right, front to back. All this twisting and turning has my heart jumping, but my heart had never really stopped jumping since I got here anyway. I had been hearing the tempting sounds from the field since we were at the bottom of the hill, when we were barely beginning our ascent towards the venue, anticipation building with every step into a mound huger than the hill. Sun God was the event I had been looking forward to for months and it was finally here. I was finally here. As my heart jumps, I jump too, and I again glance over at my friends’ faces. They exchange wide grins with me and we nod to each other approvingly and enthusiastically. We are all in sync, hands reaching to the stage, where we try to elevate our experience by letting the sound waves radiate down our arms and seep to the soles of our feet. This intense energy, this use of the body in an unrestrained fashion makes us all feel free. I undulate blissfully until we call for a water break. Moving to the water station where the vendor staff can refill our water bottles means moving away from the crowd and being more susceptible to the cold wind of the night. We link arms and walk in a connected line to utilize human warmth to our advantage. At the end of the night it gets colder and we huddle close for warmth, making a little Indian style pow-wow on the dry grass of the field with no fire. We sit in a half circle to keep in view the jumbo TV showing the last performer on the main stage. Exhausted and resting our heads on one another’s shoulders, we let the waves of tiredness roll in with faint smiles lingering on our minds. The day is over but like true weekend warriors we have another big day ahead of us. This place, this moment of time with the close friends I am surrounded by, some new best friends from college and others old best friends from elementary school make me so happy. I am slightly out of my element by seeing them all together in this one group for the first time and by being in a city I am usually not, but time is short so I soak in this happy circumstance to the very last drop. I take a couple mental photographs of us because I don’t know when this will ever happen again. I do know, that it will be back to IV and school soon enough. Amongst the other scattered groups of college students and their friends, I feel content to be a part of this shared moment. We are all young adults searching for thrills, escapes, and wine glasses for our water on this continuous pursuit of happiness. The sun has set and the weekend is slipping through our fingers but still, when I sit in my sunshine-lit bed a couple days from now I know I will have these memories to cherish forever. And then it’ll be time to do it all over again. |
